


drumbeat, heartbeat

by Chiropter



Category: Kagerou Project
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 18:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1753895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiropter/pseuds/Chiropter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She’s biting her nails again, swinging her legs off the edge of the table and trying, desperately, to look like she’s focusing on the music beating through her headphones, when Ayano walks in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	drumbeat, heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> someone prompted me the following: "AyaTaka. Takane hasn't had her first kiss so Ayano tries to teach her?" and that's pretty much all this is. this is for you, anon!

She can’t believe it, really. Letting something as trivial as an overheard conversation get to her- letting words from a magazine pour through another’s mouth, another’s ears, break the shell of her headphones and worm inside her head. 

_"I’m 18- and I’ve NEVER been kissed!"_

She knows this is stupid. Really, really, groundbreakingly stupid ( _even for you, Takane, even for you and your lying mouth and treacherous face_ ), because if anything, those words should be a  _comfort._

Yet hearing them had made her stumble. Something she’d never considered (in all her worrying, all her frantic love) had suddenly rammed through her defenses and punched her right in the heart, or at least the nerves. She, Takane Enomoto- a legal adult- has never been kissed. 

_Is it really so unusual!?_

_Yes_ , is the apparent answer, no matter where she looks. In every magazine, book, TV show and manga, the story is pretty much the same; find love, or at least lust, before you lose your youth, embrace your vitality and live while you’re young. The third time she’d stumbled upon the phrase ‘youthful vigour’ she’d thrown the book across the room. 

Maybe she’s less content with her condition than she likes to admit.

  _"But come on_ ,” she’d complained to a friend last night, holding down the spacebar and pummeling the opposing team with bullets,  _"that kind of shit must get annoying for_ everyone.” _  
_

Annoying or not, it’s still on her mind, almost 48 hours later. She’s having lunch in the classroom today, alone- Haruka’s off doing God-knows-what, and she is, for once, thankful. At least she doesn’t have to worry about whether she’s eating too messily, or give him half because he’s still hungry.

The silence only starts feeling bleak once she’s finished lunch, so she takes out her iPod and shuffles randomly a while. Play, pause. This song is too loud to listen to alone. Play, pause. This one’s so dramatic she feels stupid for even downloading it.

Well, whatever. She’s alone, so she puts on a love song.

Without her consent, her thoughts drift back to the magazine article. She may not be able to do much, but surely a kiss isn’t too far-fetched- so why hasn’t she had one? Even tried for one? Most girls she knows have, at least, stories about sharing kisses as children, fake marriages and pretending to be housewives. She can’t remember, exactly, but she thinks a boy kissed her cheek once. Maybe if anyone asks, she can fall back on that as the start of a lie.

Are her lies convincing, though? She raises a hand to her mouth without thinking, more gnawing on her fingers than biting her nails, and stares out the window. The love song hasn’t finished yet, and it’s starting to make her feel a little sick.  _Which fits, doesn’t it?_  The lovesick sick kid. Of course she feels unwell. It’s in frustration that she starts to swing her legs, blinks rapidly to dismiss heated tears.

It’s in surprise that she jumps.

She hadn’t even heard Ayano approaching- unlike bright, noisy Haruka or the in-your-face attitude behind Shintaro’s stomping footsteps, Ayano treads lightly, able to slip into any room without seeming to take up much space at all. Takane hastily removes her headphones, stashing them in her bag and coughing to somehow cover for the redness of her eyes. She receives a concerned pat on the back as Ayano sits down beside her.

"I thought you’d be here," she says cheerfully. "Kokonose kicked up a fuss over something or other in the lunch hall, and Shintaro’s stayed behind to help sort it out. There was no point waiting for them- you know what they’re like." Takane laughs at this. It comes out a loud snort, making her wince.

"I guessed something like that might have happened. God, they can be so predictable…"

Conversation trails off into silence as Ayano starts to eat. Her meal is carefully prepared, beautifully packed, and Takane wonders with more than a pinch of jealousy how she learnt to make lunches so professional. Must just be a girl thing.

( _You’re a girl, too_ , her head reminds her gently, and, with a flick of her pigtails, she pushes the entire train of thought away.)

"…Tateyama," she finds herself blurting out. Ayano glances at her, chopsticks raised halfway to her mouth, and suddenly she can’t remember what she wanted to say, whether she wanted to say anything at all. Something about that little packed lunchbox gives her strength, and she continues in a rush: "Do you… think it’s weird that… would it be weird. If someone were an adult. A- a girl,  and she hadn’t, well. Kissed anyone?"

Her heart is thudding ridiculously fast, so much it makes her vision blur, enough that she feels like she’s choking. Why is it so hard to talk about these things- why, why are feelings so hard, why does she always have to sound so  _stupid_ when-

Ayano giggles, and her thoughts dissolve.  _No- don’t laugh- don’t laugh don’t laugh don’t laugh-_

"Has that been bothering you?"

She squeezes her eyes shut. Ayano’s voice is still full of laughter, but it’s kind, and, hesitantly, Takane nods.

"It’s not weird, you know. You’re still young!"

Takane’s head shoots up to look at her, comically fast.

"The magazines all say-"

"Magazines…?" Ayano giggles again, shaking her head. "Magazines say all sorts, though. Did you see the headline the other day about the alien baby?"

"I- don’t read them," Takane stutters. "I just overheard. Some people. And."

Ayano puts her chopsticks down, and gently sets her lunch aside on the desk beside them. Her face is thoughtful, and there’s a strange shadow over her eyes. For a second, she looks weirdly tired.

Then she sighs.

"What is it that worries you about it?"

Takane can’t help it- her face goes pink. She wants to talk about it, she’s almost sure she does, but- still! Heart-to-hearts, especially with other girls, are not something she has much experience with. Another way her youth’s been wasted, probably.

"I just… I mean! It’s not like I really want to or- It’s not a sex thing," she pauses, unable to believe she just said that, but ploughs on even as her face gets three shades darker; "More that- I might be stupid or- unattractive?" She pauses briefly. "No. No forget that, forget I said that, God. I mean. Am I abnormal?" 

All traces of dignity apparently thrown out the window long ago, she turns to Ayano with a pleading look on her face, then, startled by the smile on her friend’s face, buries her head in her hands.

“ _Now you think I’m ridiculous!_ " She wails accusingly. 

Something very warm is suddenly on her wrist.

She yelps as Ayano pulls her arm gently away from her face, keeping one hand there with even more determination. Through the one eye left uncovered, she watches as Ayano leans closer and closer.

The lips on her cheek are unbelievably light, and Ayano’s hair tickles at her jaw as they bump together. Takane is rigid with shock as she pulls away.

"You _are_ ridiculous," Ayano tells her, but she shakes her head when Takane winces. "You’re ridiculous for worrying about this so much. Honestly, you think it matters how many people you’ve kissed?" Takane stares at her, and Ayano laughs again, giving her nose a very gentle flick. "Besides, just because people don’t kiss you doesn’t mean they don’t want to. I know it’s hard for you, but maybe you should be more forward…"

The worst part is, there’s truth in it. Takane knows it, and she growls. 

"If I knew how, then maybe I would be! It’s just- hard." She kicks the table leg again. "I don’t. You know I’m not good at this, don’t make me say it."

"If you want to be forward, you just have to go for it," Ayano tells her gently. "There’s really no other way except to be brave." For a moment, neither of them say anything, Takane staring at the floor while Ayano watches her closely. Then, slowly, she says: "I don’t mind if you practise on me."

Takane almost chokes on air.

"Wh-!?"

"I-it’s just an idea!" Ayano says hastily, and to Takane’s astonishment, she’s actually  _blushing_. She’s never seen Ayano blush before, and it’s cute, far cuter than the awkward display Takane puts up whenever Haruka walks into the room. She feels a brief twinge of jealousy, but pushes it away in favour of something warmer that she’s a little unsure of. Is it admiration?

"Y-you mean, kiss you?"

Ayano nods, then shrugs, looking unsure. “You could just pretend, if…”

"That- it might work," Takane acknowledges. "W-we’re both girls, so it’s not like I need to pretend…" She shuffles slightly closer. Her movements are jerky and uncertain, but judging by Ayano’s face, they’re in much the same boat now.

"Erm… now?"

In response, Ayano shuts her eyes. Takane gathers her courage, squeezes shut her own, takes a deep breath, and moves forward. Three, two, one-

“ _Ouch!_ ”

Takane jumps away, cursing indignantly, and Ayano starts to laugh through her hand, raised to feel her nose. Takane’s own nose is throbbing painfully and she pinches the bridge of it, keeping her eyes shut tight to block out the mortifying sound of Ayano’s laughter. 

"Shut up, I told you I’ve never done that before," she snaps. Ayano gradually stops laughing, and clears her throat.

"It’s fine, it just surprised me. Are you okay?"

Still not looking at her, Takane gives the tiniest of nods.

"Good," says Ayano. "Because it’s time for take two."

This time, when lips press against her, they’re firm and solid, and it takes her a moment to react. She’s read in the magazines that most girls have soft, plump lips, but Ayano’s are just like hers; skin and tissue, slightly slippery, fragile and tender between her teeth. It’s weird at first, all jaw and harsh pressing, but as they start to move closer, find a halfway point, it turns into something that makes Takane forget even her embarrassment, even her need to blush, to shout and run away. Ayano places a hand on her shoulder and she hesitantly returns the gesture. 

They come apart slowly, and Takane’s relieved to see that she’s not the only one shaken by it. Ayano’s breathing has become lighter, and her eyes are strangely lit. They don’t speak. And they don’t speak. And they don’t speak.

"…You’re not abnormal," Ayano says at last, and beams. "That was my first kiss, too."

"Huh," Takane mumbles back- and there must have been something off in her lunch, she must be ill after all, because the only thing she can think to say is, "but you’re younger than me… don’t you think I should teach you instead?" 


End file.
